Getting criticized by other people is rather unpleasant. Some people don’t understand everything that your family is going through and unreasonably disgrace your efforts. It is even worse when your family members don’t appreciate you as a caregiver.
Such comments can make you feel bad, although you don’t deserve such treatment. On top of that, you may suffer from burnout and feeling stressed. This combination emotionally and mentally disturbs you, and you don’t know how to get back on track. You begin to judge your actions and question everything you do.
First, stop judging yourself as a caregiver. It is important that you and your loved one know you are doing everything in your power to make their life easier. Then think about these 3 ways to respond to caregiver criticism.
Ask Them for Suggestions
There are people who like to patronize. Why don’t you do it this way instead? It would be better if… I think you don’t have a clue what you are doing.
If such critiques are repeated by the same person, ask them what they suggest you should do. Explain to them the whole situation, don’t let them judge with superficial information. Don’t be defensive when they start criticizing, and be open to suggestions. Perhaps they have some meaningful advice. Put them in your shoes, and ask how they would do it if they were you. This will surely surprise them, and your discussion will continue in a different tone.
Let People Know They Hurt Your Feelings
Sometimes people accidentally hurt your feelings. Even I sometimes say things that hurt others before thinking twice. You never know how sensitive people are or what battle they are fighting.
Every time someone’s words make you feel uneasy, tell them honestly how you feel about it. Don’t keep everything inside. These things accumulate and lead to caregiver burnout. Your mental condition will suffer, and you will start breaking down emotionally. People sometimes don’t understand the burden on your shoulders. Let them know about it.
However, there are also evil people in this world who will deliberately hurt you. They don’t care about others’ feelings and have zero empathy. Such people are better to avoid.
Don’t Lose Your Temper
You can be frustrated due to a bad day and the things that have been bothering you for months. You are tired of hearing what you should do. No one understands what you feel, and there is no one to offer a hand. You run into a friend, and the first thing she does is criticize how bad a caregiver you are.
In this situation, it is easy to snap. However, try not to lose your temper. This will make the situation even worse. Take a deep breath and count to ten. Wasting your energy won’t help. Then try to handle caregiver criticism in the ways mentioned above.
People like to judge and patronize without having the complete picture of a situation. Try not to lose your temper. Take a deep breath and calm down. Tell people how you feel about it and that they hurt your feelings. Don’t keep everything inside.
If they keep telling you that you are a bad caregiver, ask them for a suggestion. Ask them what they would do if they were you. Explain why the suggestion doesn’t work, or thank them if the advice is beneficial to you.
Being a family caregiver is not always easy, and other people shouldn’t make it even more difficult.
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